I felt so much of the purest form of love today (friendship) at work.  I don’t know what it is about getting along with amazing people, but it makes me grateful to be alive.  I guess because I spend so much of my actual time at work, lol—knowing it’s going to be fun and doable gives me a lot of satisfaction.  The whole thing is just exploding with potential.  I hope we do end up getting our store holiday party.  I imagine it would be pretty epic. :)

I think… the reason friendship is a purer form of love than the relationship kind… is because it’s less self-interested.  There’s a desire for harmony that isn’t always matched by romantic relations.  And no one is expecting to be constantly validated.  As a result, everything comes on gently, by surprise: less personal hurt, more innocent joy… no guilt or too-close manipulation.  There’s a certain air of coolness that is quite, well, easy to warm to.

I suspect that the passionate kind of love yields greater rewards in the long run, if you’re measuring by the number of moments that make you feel true, awesome intensity.  However, I sometimes think that the friendship kind of love is more sustainable (and if today suggests anything, it’s almost as beautiful).  I am honestly not sure if Friendship’s brighter burning cousin, Romance, can really last so long as the lifetime it promises.

I leave myself open to the possibility, but I sense that it might not be real (by that, I mean it’s not ever really as intense as people make it out to be; rather, it’s felt and experienced only through self-deception).  

Or, maybe it can only be real for those that freely choose to fall prey to its seduction.  Maybe it’s all in a person’s head, after all, and he or she does love (truly, self-interestedly, intricately) in the lasting way, simply as a result of believing in the idea so strongly.  I don’t even know if that could qualify as a bad thing.  It comes back to the idea of perception and whether if a person feels happy is more important than if the person conforms to “logical” standards.  Is it moral to let a person who is judging things inaccurately remain undisturbed in their wrongness simply because they feel “happy” in the illusion?  Is there power in being able to make oneself happy simply by wishing it?

(Unnervingly, the illusion creates real feelings.)

What’s more important, objective rightness or happiness?

(I’m truly not sure.  I’m open to either at this point, but my needle quivers toward objective rightness.)

Anyway, to come back around and explain myself: today was a good day, and I know that’s because work was good.  Starbucks will never know what it’s done for me personally.  The people are spectacular, and seeing them brings me joy, which makes me want to have daring adventures and create beautiful things (on my own time!).  That can only be good.  It’s what living is really about.  And I know I can trust this feeling of camaraderie, of mutual relief in others’ company, because it is the “objectively right” kind of love.  I love my coworkers because they are awesome and we are awesome together—we fill each other’s lives with a little less suffering.  I haven’t tricked my brain into this; it naturally came upon me as a result of days that just happened, and now I perceive it.  As a result, I know that simple coworker-friendship must be objectively worthwhile in the happiness-creating sense, because its origins are organic (and thus true).

To wrap it up: life is hard, but I know good people. :)  Honestly, it’s easy to be okay with not having a romantic relationship right now, knowing that I’ll always have the potential for the purer form of love, this friendship and coworker harmony which comes so naturally.  I feel whole, and that is a good place to start when you speculate about being with someone (anyone) for the messy kind of love.